Music Monday

It took some time to get used to this song, and truth be told, it starts out a bit boring if you aren't really in the vibe yet. But if you are, my oh my, this song is magical. Somehow the further I'm in the song, the more I love it. Enjoy!

Montly resolutions: April

Today, as my pupils from internship joyfully made obvious to me, is the 1st of April. For them a great day full of jokes. Seriously, the stories these 6 year olds tell.. haha! I should write some of their quotes down sometimes. I love how simple children think sometimes. But that's not the point I wanted to make today. For me, it is the first of a month, a fresh start.

See I decided this year that New Years Resolutions aren't really my thing. After a few weeks I get lazy and forget why I'm doing it. I mean there are so many things I want to better, but it is simply impossible - for me - to maintain a healthy life style, work out, spend time with friends and family, not spending all my money on clothes, take good care of myself, stay on top of my uni work, and so on. I can't just do them all perfect. Here comes the monthly resolutions. I just take a few items where I want to focus on that month. That way, I usually am successful  in keeping them since the goal isn't super unrealistic. And I still am productive, working on some of my flaws every month instead of just those first two weeks in January! So far, it's been going great. Things on my list have been from just taking better care of my teeth to going to bed in time.

Anyway, so far the long introduction on this monthly returning topic.

My resolutions for April:

1. Drink more water. It is just really healthy and good for you.
2. Do things with confidence. Don't think about what people think of you anymore. ''Not everyone likes apple pie'' not everyone will like you and that is perfectly fine. That shouldn't be a reason to be insecure.
3. Take good care of teeth and skin. That way I can look nice without too much make up, just the way i like it!
4. Finding my energy through alternative ways. I've been lacking energy lately and I am not sure what the cause is but I do know that a regular doctor doesn't really fit for a solution. I hope to have a solution in my problem through alternative therapist/acupuncture.
5. Make a planning for uni/fun stuff and stick to it. I need to do  a lot this month. Because of the lack of energy I have been sort of neglecting my uni work. I need to catch up big time but switch it up with fun stuff that I got planned and will try to plan more.

Love, Fenna

Music Monday

When putting together my ''songs that make me happy'' playlist I was on a hunt for new artists with happy songs. Then I stumbled on this. Not a happy song, but it is so dreamy. I've been trying to come up with words to describe it but I can't. It just gives me a summer feeling - the kind where you're in a car and just want to throw your hands up in the air and close your eyes and dream away..

x Fenna

Do more of what makes you happy

A while ago I was super stressed and I just couldn't get a break of it. I wanted to be relaxed and happy again and wrote a blog post about it. It definitely helped! Dealing with your issues is the best way to get rid of them. This post however I wanted to take a closer look as to what exactly makes me happy, since dealing with your problem is usually a long term plan. So here it is, a list of things that make me happy!


1. Certain music can lift any dark cloud for me, so I made a playlist full of songs that make me smile
2. Dancing around the house (preferably kitchen) on said music
3. Dress up nice. Even if I don't have anywhere to go, dressing up just makes me feel better. Looking good is partly feeling good for me.
4. Pamper yourself: take a nice bath, make an appointment for a massage, etc!
5. Bake something yummy, alone or with a friend
6. Take a walk through the park
7. Watch your favourite feel good movie. I haven't really figured out yet what mine is though..
8. Pick up an old hobby. I like to look up my key-board (music guys.. not the computer of course!) now and then to see if I still have the skills.
9. Shut off the laptop, put your phone on flight mode, and just relax for half an hour. It doesn't matter if its reading a book, listening to music or even doing some cleaning, just disconnect yourself to clear your mind.
10. Plan fun things to look forward to!

I'm sure there are a lot of things that make me happy but I've never really thought about it that much. My goal is to write down what exactly makes my mood lift instantly and just start doing these activities more. If it makes you happy, why not do it as much as possible? :)

x, Fenna

Outfit inspiration: Mellow in yellow

Finally a post that includes less drama and more fun! I've been loving the sunny weather lately even though it is still quite chilly here. Never the less, I'm already in a spring mood! Recently I've been on the hunt for more yellow items. It's such a  fun and happy colour and I don't see it enough. That's why my first Outfits post features a girly yellow skirt.

Top: H&M

Skirt: River island

Sunglasses: Zero UV

Shoes: Missguided

Necklace: Forever 21

How would you style such a femine item? Let me know!

x Fenna

How I deal with stress

I'd like to dedicate today's post to this little voice in my head that can ruin my mood in no time: stress.

 Now, I have to admit, I am fairly quickly stressed. See, I guess I live life very intensely. I am super duper excited about the littlest thing but unfortunately that also means stuff quickly gets me down. Luckily for me, and definitely for the people around me, I've learnt to deal with those mood swings. I kept all the good, and got rid of the sad moods I used to have where I could find myself stuck in. I do still get them, but I am still learning to bounce back to my normal mood quicker. I guess the older I get, the more I'm learning to put things in perspective: life is too short to get sad, and sadness doesn't accomplish much in the end.

Lately, putting things in perspective hasn't been working for my latest mood swing: stress. I seem to switch back in to this mood every day at least a few times. I don't feel at peace. It's not only disturbing me and things, but unfortunately I am one of those horrible persons who tend to lash out on their dearest and nearest - sorry BF! :( As a perfectionist, I am already quite worried about little things. So real stress, is not easy to bounce back from. That's why I am on the hunt for some solutions to find my inner peace again! So I made a little list with things that might be useful for me, and you :)

1. Deal with the problem. 
If the problem's gone, stress is gone. Unfortunately it's usually not that easy. Heaps of uni work aren't made overnight but that doesn't mean I want to walk around with stress until it's finished!

2. Talk about it
The more you keep the stress in your head, the worse it'll get.. trust me! It feels good to finally tell that thing you've been stressing over to a good friend, or take my example and just write it down. Either way- get it out of your system.

3. Make a plan
Stress for me is usually a problem that I don't know how to deal with. So, make a plan. Instead of stressing about it, give your mind something else to do. Think of the options, write them down, talk about it, and make decisions. In my case, my stress is caused by uni work. So I can drop out, take longer, or work my butt off. Once I realize which decision is the right one - in this case not that hard to be fair ;) - I can start make a planning. To stimulate me I like to involve other people in it. Making plans is one thing, but making plans to study with other people can help as a motivation. The same goes with for example sporting and cooking; if your stress is caused by something like your weight.

4. Reward yourself
First of all: be realistic. Don't make your planning too tight. Make little goals in between to keep your motivation up. In the example of losing weight: don't pin yourself down on wanting to lose 20 kilos in 2 months: be realistic! Don't just think about the end goal, also celebrate every time you've reached another goal and lost 3 kilo's. Basically: don't be too hard on your self.

5. Find a hobby
Stress can take up all your time and energy. Once you are working on your problem, find something that takes your mind of things in your spare time. The important quality that your activity must have is that it makes you stop thinking. I myself have the habit of spending my free time behind the laptop. I didn't really see what was wrong with watching movies and spending hours on tumblr as hobby until I realized that my brain was literally overloaded. Now I'm trying to find a nice activity that really suits me and could go on for as a hobby.

Do you have any tips to reduce stress?

x Fenna

Holiday in Rome

In January my roommate told me she planned to go to Dublin during our break in February. Me, a travelling fan at heart, was very excited for her but part of me also wondered where she got all the money from. In my mind, travelling equals money- and lots of it. When she told me they only paid around 150 euros pp, my mouth dropped. In my mind I was already calculating that yes, in fact, even me could pay a trip like that. I practically rushed to my laptop and started researching. By the end of the day I had found so many options that I couldn't even choose. A few days later my boyfriend and I talked about the options and decided on Rome.

First of all, I had never really been on a city trip where I arranged everything- hotel, flight, activities- myself. The city trips I had been to always were in a safe environment with a large group, and a tour guide arranging everything. And I have to say...I absolutely loved figuring everything out on our own! It felt like an adventure, asking people for the road (and pictures, because ultimately that's what tourists do!), travelling with Rome's public transport and wandering around the city. I always believe it is far more interesting to be between the people instead of observing them like tourists usually do. Not to forget, we had the freedom to plan our own days - which basically meant no getting up out of bed ridiculously early!

Of course, there were some downsides. Like that we didn't planned everything before hand. I did had a global planning in my head, but I hadn't thought of what to do when for example the Vatican museum has a queue for hours because everyone knows it's free on the last Sunday of the month.. not very clever of me. Or that we never decided on when to eat and where - which always ended up in a difficult decision.

And the worst thing of all, my perfectionism ruining the fun for both of us sometimes. Because we were free to design our whole trip, it also put some kind of pressure on me, to make it the best and most perfect trip. Therefor, when something wouldn't go according to plan, I would start to get frustrated. And stressed. A city trip is so short and I felt like ''there was no room'' to make any mistakes.

All in all, I absolutely enjoyed it, even though we didn't see everything we wanted. I want it to be about the joy of the trip instead of the things we checked of our list. And on the next city trip... well I'll more prepared for my perfectionist behavior!

Love, Fenna

Adventures vs. safety

When I grew up in my hometown I never really appreciated the place. It was small, not close to any cities or activities and, most of all, it seemed to be filled with people who where all very different from me. I never could find any connection and the arrogant teenager I was, I tended to call them simple minded. Now I can see they just have a different mindset than me. Anyway, for most of my teenage years I almost counted the days until graduation. I felt almost locked up in this town where I couldn't be myself and I had big plans. Whereas most of my peers wouldn't dare to think about leaving their trusty hometown, I couldn't wait to move, as far away as I could. I dreamt of a tourism study in the other side of the country, going to internships in foreign countries and ultimately moving to a new country. I wasn't just feeling out of place in my town, I was done with the entire Dutch culture all together!

Ironically, almost the opposite happened. I fell in love in the last months of my last year. I changed my plans and moved to a small city, relatively close to my hometown. In the first year of living there with my -now ex- boyfriend, the person I was with the big plans was no where to be seen. I opted for safety. I started to see my former dreams as just a teenage phase and enjoyed living in a safe bubble.

Recently, I feel that urge for travelling in the same strength again as I used to. It is like finding an old piece of clothing (clothes just have a very sentimental value to me okey!) and remembering  why you used to love it so much. You might start wearing it again, maybe not exactly in the way you would've before but you adapt it to your new style. I feel like I've found that passion again, but the dreams are adapting to the person I am now. For example: Where I used to dream of moving to basically anywhere, I realize now that I should stick to Europe so I am close to my family. Instead of seeing everything black and white, going or not going, I'm starting to mix my sense of adventures together with my longing for safety. It will be an ongoing internal conflict, but hey, I'm basically made of those ;)

Perfectionist

I have been postponing my first blog post for a while. First I thought it had to be because I'm new, unsure what to write, and so on. After thinking about it for awhile - an action I tend to do a lot - I figured it out. The ugly truth is: I am a Perfectionist with a capital P.

per·fec·tion·ism  (pər-fĕk′shə-nĭz′əm)1. A propensity for being displeased with anything that is not perfect or does not meet extremely high standards.
2. A belief in certain religions that moral or spiritual perfection can be achieved before the soul has passed into the afterlife.

There it is. The first one at least. I have the need to execute everything in perfection. After the initial shock -Who, me? A perfectionist? One of these uptight compulsive freaks? - I let the word sink in. I realized how much of my daily life is being influenced by my need to have everything in order.

A few of the things I caught myself doing
1. Hanging the laundry precisely with the seams on the side, not an inch beside it.
2. Therefor: not appreciating when my roomie hangs up my laundry because she doesn't do it like I do.
3. I cannot study or actually do anything productive when it is messy in the living room/ kitchen or my bedroom. I feel so unease.
4. I love when people announce when they will visit me so I can tidy the whole place.
5. If my outfit isn't perfectly colour matching or not right I will change it no matter how late I already am - which usually leads to confused looks from my boyfriend.
6. When I make grammar mistakes I always correct them - even if I'm drunk...
7. I can spend hours picking a nice font, lay-out and colour for a report or a presentation.
8. I even enjoy re-folding my clothes so it looks pretty in my wardrobe again.
9. If my home decorations are a few inches moved by my cat Lily I put them back.
10. I could go on for hours, but you would start to hate me after one post. Last but not least: I have put off posting anything on this blog because the lay-out is not how I wish to see it yet. There it is!

Do you recognize yourself in any of my bad habits? Or do you have any compulsive habits of your own that sound a awfully lot like perfectionism?